I get a lot of comments from friends asking me how do I do it? I have no idea how I do it!! Most of the time I'm feeling well so I just do what I would normally do if Bitch wasn't in my life. What really helps me is my friends and family. They have been my support. I've never been one to call a friend up and say "Woe is me" but having my family and friend to keep me occupied makes a difference. I'm not looking for any gifts...I'm looking for time. I'm some one asks me about my situation (even a total stranger, I don't mind talking about it at all...ask, and I shall tell.)
I'm usually calm and collective but there was this on instance that REALLY got to me. It was the first week of Andrew's kindergarden class. I was in the school and the nurse stopped me. She said, "You look exactly like this one teacher that used to teach here. I had to do a double take!!" Then, she proceeded to say, " unfortunately, we lost her due to cancer." I said, "Oh, that's terrible." She went on to say, "yes it is because her 2 little boys are students here". As I started to walk away, another teacher came walking by and the nurse grabbed the teacher and asked, "Doesn't she look exactly like someone we know?" As I walked out I was a little irritated but also how could I be mad at someone that has no idea what my situation is. As I drove off, I felt fine but when I sat at the red light, a panic came over me. My chest stiffened and I started to hyperventilate. I could possibly be this teacher!!!! I needed something to calm me down.
Bitch has no mercy on anyone. Even an innocent infant. I mean how cruel is that? The mind games are the worst because she cheats and she doesn't keep her promises. She's a "creeper". When I was in remission I was probably the happiest I've been a long time but that Bitch had to come back and ruin everything for me and my family. When I try to do the things I want to do that Bitch always keeps me from doing it. Even when I have good days, she always manages to follow it up with a terrible day. She makes me paranoid and I don't trust her. Some times I think to my self, "Why did she pick me?" Why can't she just bully a murderer or a child molester? I just don't get it. They say cancer doesn't discriminate. To me, it seems like she does. She bullies only best of us.