Sunday, August 26, 2012

What's My Poison?

Thank you, Lord!  The poison worked!  There were no traces of disease.  I can continue to live my life.  We outsmarted Bitch!! I thanked God (and still do) for sparing me.  I would take nothing for granted and relish everything that comes my way.  I will no longer complain about my husband.  I will never complain to him that we need work done to the house (although it would be nice), his hockey stuff reeks, and it takes him an eternity to finish any task when it comes to the house. I'll try to help those in need, I will appreciate every breath I take and embrace life.  I will try my best to live the life that God intended me to live and thank Him every moment I can.

I was in remission for a little over two years.  I felt awesome!!! I even got myself a little part time job working at Macy's, which I absolutely loved!!!! Even though I was in remission I still had to have a PET scan every 3-4 months.  I dreaded them but it was just something I had to do. I had my port in for about 2 years at that time so I was looking forward to having it removed. That would have been a huge turning point, having my port removed.  I was looking forward to face to face conversations when eyes didn't wander down to my chest where my port lies. Kinda like when you're having a conversation with someone who has a ginormous zit on their chin. You try your best not to notice it but it's screaming, "Look at me...don't you just want to pop me?" I knew they were wondering, "What is that thing protruding from her chest?" I had one lady comment, "You must had a good time this got a huge hickey on your chest!"  Most cancer patients have their port removed right away but in my case my onco wanted to keep it in "just in case".  

During my last follow up, my onco was very pleased with my progress. All my Pet scans came out clear so she felt we can reduce the scans from 3-4 months to 6 months.  She gave me the option of having one more scan before starting the 6 month was completely up to me. I opted to have one more scan. Normally, we get a call from the nurse to tell me that the scan came out clear.  This particular call was different.  It was the nurse asking me to come in.  I knew IMMEDIATELY something wasn't right but I had to wait 3 days to find out what it is.

It was a devastating blow.  I had traces of cancer in my spleen and liver.  She described it as rice crispies which meant surgery was not an option. She recommend another type of poison but it was back to the drawing board.  We went to MCV and Sloan, and again, both were in agreement with my onco with the type of chemo I were to receive. The chemo schedule was more grueling than my first.  I were to have chemo 3 days in a row then I would have a 3 week break.  A total of six cycles and after the 3rd cycle I would have a scan to check to see if the chemo is actually working.  The results weren't as good as we hoped for.  So, AGAIN she switched me to a different chemo but this time one treatment every 3 weeks. Hopefully, this poison will work.  So here I am today.  

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